Dude," he said excitedly. "William just showed me a nifty web comic."

"Really? Wow," I replied without enthusiam. As I clicked through the pages of the dead web comic, Dirk Crimson, I bowed my head--a sure sign of veneration and respect (but obviously not self-respect).

"Norris, get up. Mr. Weisman is watching."

I dared not incur the wrath of Matthew, who created Dirk Crimson, so I continued to pay homage and subsequently I was lightly tossed out of the computer lab by Mr. Weisman. I landed gracefully in a heap of tangled limbs.

"Commonwealth is so interesting," my unnamed companion said thoughtfully to no one in particular. "You think we could make it into a web comic?"

"Worth a try," I replied. So began my downward spiral into stupidism as I vainly tried to draw cartoon characters that people would love, huggle, and sniffle.

"The problem is," I said after some serious thought, "the stuff that happens here is too wacky, slightly extreme, and random to put into web comic form."

"Improvise," he said with a small smile. Then he was slapped on each cheek by a passing girl.

"That was pretty random."

"Shut up." Then he punched me in the face.